What guides my work is the belief that everyone, no matter their behavior, is doing the very best they can in that moment. Most often (but not always) aberrant behavior is the result of beliefs learned in childhood that are brought forward into adulthood that are no longer applicable, appropriate or functional. As Maya Angelou said, ”I did then what I knew how to do, now that I know better, I do better”. Therapy is the process of learning to practice new, more effective ways of behaving.
Whether I’m working with couples or individuals, fundamental to my work is creating strong therapeutic bonds with my clients through attunement , compassion, permission giving and acceptance. Dysfunctional behaviors represent a person’s best efforts to get their needs met. Therapy generates awareness, in the company of a trusted guide, resulting in new strategies that lead to improved effectiveness, inner peace and more harmonious relationships. Michelangelo said that God put a statue within every slab of marble, and his job was to remove all that was not part of the statue. I like to think of the therapeutic process this way.